Egg and Spam: Archive

Dec 31st

1,594 notes

Dec 31st

103,602 notes

Dec 31st

979 notes

that old post has like 6300 something notes now what

Dec 31st

“Sherlock Homeless”

– my nephew

Dec 31st

7 notes

Dec 31st

61,884 notes

Dec 30th

76,466 notes

hankhillsexual: 69ingchipmunks: inverts: ...

Dec 29th

3,539 notes

Dec 29th

2,190 notes

Dec 29th

21,687 notes

me: mum where's ringo and george
mum: idk in the dishwasher maybe
me: is that what they call it these days
mum: yeah they're in the dishwasher still
me: mum this is not acceptable
mum: use paul
me: paul's full of yesterday's root beer
mum: use john
me: but mum. john's not rrrrringooooo.
mum: FOR GOD'S SAKE GET A CUP

Dec 29th

7,041 notes

1 tag

Today at the movies

Me: Hi. I'd like two tickets to Sherlock Holmes: A Gay of Shadows?
Ticket Seller: Yeah su- Wait, what?
Me: Sherlock Homes: A Gay of Gay.
Ticket Seller: I don't-
Me: Sherlock Gay: A Gay of Gay Gay.
Ticket Seller: Sir I-
Me: Gay Gay: Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay. 
Ticket Seller: That-
Me: Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Dec 29th

17,237 notes

Dec 29th

2,681 notes

Dec 29th

56,472 notes

Dec 29th

56,879 notes

Dec 29th

1,001 notes

reapershadcat: I must not ship real people. I must not ship real people. I must not ship real people. I must not ship real people. I must not ship real people. I must not ship real people. I must not ship real people. I must not ship real people. I must not ship real people.

Dec 29th

41 notes

changing in my room

me: oh, hi poster, didnt see you there
me: *pulls off shirt*
me: you like that, dont you, you naughty poster you

Dec 28th

25,982 notes

biblefanfiction: >searches “homestuck stamps” on dA >”Homestuck can BURN IN HELL!” >”I think Homestuck is BORING.” >”Yeah, I hate Homestuck. Problem?”

Dec 28th

214 notes

Dec 28th

543 notes

how come in family TV shows if someone says asshole or god damnit they bleep out the hole and not the ass or the god and not the damnit “the children don’t necessarily need to know what PART of the gluteus maximus he’s calling them”

Dec 28th

Me laying in bed: Omg that is the most perfect idea for this story. Yes, oh sweet baby jesus. So much perfection. It will flow so well. Oh...I can't wait to write this. It's going to be so great.

Me sitting in front of my computer: HOW DO I WORDS?!

Dec 28th

16,002 notes

Dec 28th

314 notes

1 tag

one-two-three-fah: I’m so confused right now. I had to go to the bathroom, so I walked into the bathroom. AND then as I was approaching the toilet, I realized that the entire top fucking part of it is missing. So now it’s just the bowl and a pipe. Why did nobody inform me of this. What the fuck. Why is a part of our toilet missing.

Dec 27th

7 notes

Dec 27th

212 notes

Dec 26th

37,617 notes

the-absolute-funniest-posts: Anyone: Hey you wanna narrat— Morgan Freeman: YES Follow this blog, you’ll love it on your dashboard!

Dec 26th

6,426 notes

Dec 26th

73,188 notes

Dec 26th

78,518 notes

Dec 26th

9,055 notes

Dec 26th

28,699 notes

1 tag

Dec 26th

834 notes

Watch

wowfunniestposts: FOLLOW Wow Funniest Posts

Dec 26th

105,825 notes

Dec 26th

162 notes

Me: it's like that little boy that looked like he was showing his penis to an excitedly smiling george
 remember that
 or is it just me
Rae: um
 no
 ............
Me: wait this needs to be tumblr'ed
Rae: ...yeah

Dec 26th

my kids: mommy daddy how did you guys meet?

husband: well kids i was playing a concert and she was in the front row and during a quiet part of the song she looked at me with tears in her eyes and screamed "I WANT TO TOUCH WHERE YOU PEE FROM" and in that moment i knew we were meant to be.

Dec 25th

17,884 notes

whoops I woke up at 4am again lol there aren’t even presents under the tree

Dec 25th